Okay 2018, let's do this thing. This year I'm learning more than ever how to run in my own lane confidently. I've let insecurity and fear of standing out hold me back for far too long. I tried running along in other's lanes which left me feeling tired and unfulfilled. I've tried to do things like everyone else and it got me nowhere. I wasn't confident in the abilities that God gifted me with and I just wanted to do what I saw others doing. I kept trying to fit in a perfect box that didn't exist. I thought I was running in my own lane and it might look that way from the outside, but over this past year, I've realized more clearly the lane that God's called me to.
Going into this year I prayed for a word as all millennial Christians do and I got nothing. All my friends had a word and I asked God where my word was and I still heard nothing. Usually, in this case, I try to guess what it might be but this year I've realized God isn't going to do things in a usual way in my life. I'm realizing if I'm going to run in my own lane, I have to be confident in how God leads me. In Isaiah 43:19, it says, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." He's doing a new thing! And let me say if you do have a word for this year that's great! That's how God is communicating with you, so embrace that! However, for me, I'm learning to be comfortable with how he speaks and moves in my life.
I'm realizing that serving looks different for my lane and the dreams God has given me is a gift. I'm choosing this year to be intentional in running my race to chase those dreams. I'm choosing to learn how my Father truly loves me instead of getting frustrated when things don't look how I thought they would. I'm choosing to be less busy and more focused on the few. I'm also choosing to live more boldly and fearlessly by shining the light God's given me even brighter.
By running in other's lanes, I learned a lot. I learned what I am and am not called to do. I learned what leads to burnout and how to better manage my time. I learned that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made just the way God purposefully made me and I need to use the gifts he's given me to serve his Kingdom.
So if you relate to this and find yourself exhausted and unsure of your lane, you aren't alone! Be confident in who God created you to be and be confident in how he speaks to you. It may not look like everyone else and that's okay! Take time this year to understand your purpose and gifts God's given you and see how you can use them to glorify him best. Don't get caught up in comparison with everyone else this year, but vow to be content where God has you and who he made you to be! We're all made to influence our part of the world for his Kingdom and we all have a unique way to do that.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2
Father, thank you for the lane that you've given me to run. Thank you for the gifts and talents you created me with and I ask you to show me how to use them to glorify you. Lord show me each step of the way the things you want me to do for you and open the doors to each in your timing. I pray against comparison and discontentment in Jesus name and replace it with your love and confidence. Please bless 2018 to be a great year. In Jesus name, Amen.