What do you do when God says no to you? If you're like me, sometimes you get frustrated and don't understand. Sometimes you mistake the no for a not right now. Sometimes you twist the no into a yes thinking that maybe your answer is God's answer. Sometimes you think you've heard God's voice, but really it's your own desires coming out. So what do you do when you don't get the answer you were looking for from God? How do you interpret that and find hope in the midst of the trial?
I learned this lesson earlier this year during a season of trial and heartache. I overwhelmed my schedule by saying yes to everything that came up. I took on more than I could handle with my schedule and realized I can't do it all in one season. I thought the current activities would prepare me for the dreams God had given me and that some things were a "not right now". But really there were a few areas where God was telling me no. I was questioning a relationship that began quickly and never had the chance to really start. I saw the glass half full thinking that the road bump we hit would give us both the chance to grow before seeking a relationship. But as the months went on with us being friends first, the confusion set in hard. I kept asking God the same question over and over thinking I hadn't heard my answer yet, when really God made it clear from the beginning. My own desires for a relationship blinded God's answer and I continued to pray about something God spoke on from the start of it. I also realized I needed to take some weight off of my schedule. I was staying so busy that I wasn't taking care of myself. When I ended up having a slight panic attack one morning from being so overwhelmed, I knew that I needed to give it all to God and really lean into what He was so desperately trying to tell me.
The wonderful thing about God though is that even when we keep asking Him about something and don't listen to Him, He still guides us- never giving up on us. I ended up learning more through that season about myself than I realized. I learned to overcome insecurities and self-doubt that I didn't realize were still lingering in my soul. I learned to be confident in who God made me to be and the gifts He's given me. I learned that even in the testing He is still with me. Even if He is silent, He's still holding me as I learn. I learned how important it is not to overthink things and while I'll never be perfect in this area, I've learned to have more control over my thoughts. I also learned that being single isn't the end of the world. I now know that God has the right guy for me and that He will allow my path to cross my future husband's at the perfect, appointed time.
Looking back God was teaching me and growing me every step of the way. I gained a friendship with this person and learned that we weren't meant to date. I also saw how I needed to take on less in my life and not overwhelm my schedule. I hope this encourages you to listen when God speaks and to be led by what God says rather than be led by feelings. We never know why God leads us differently that we may think or feel, but I guarantee that His plan is better than any we could imagine. I would much rather have God's yes or no than what I think is best.
Here are a few scriptures that encouraged me in this season:
Isaiah 58:11 "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame."
Psalm 84:11 " For the Lord is a sun and a shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor, no good thing does he withhold from those whose way of life is blameless."
Lord, you always know better than I do. Your plans are greater than any I could ever imagine for myself. I know that you have a reason for everything and cause everything to work together for the good of those who love you. I want to be obedient to what you're speaking to me. I trust that you will allow things to fall together in my life at the perfect time and not a minute sooner. I want to focus on what you have for me in this season. Help me to see what you see and be your hands and feet. Amen.